Thursday, February 18, 2016

Afraid of the Dark...

We are six months (almost seven) in now, and it seems I have spent an equal amount of time with the moonlight as I have with the sunlight.  It's not that I am actually afraid of the dark (although I do have a nightlight), I'm afraid of what the darkness brings... lack of sleep.  There is a reason why sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture.  As night approaches and we begin our routine my anxiety begins to build.  I know, I know, I need to relax but it's not that simple.  So much of our routine simply doesn't work anymore.  She no longer has certain needs that I'm accustomed to meeting.  What do I do now?  It feels like I'm starting over, and I guess if you look at it from that perspective I am.  She's ready to start being in the world now and with that comes a pile of new needs and new challenges.  That past few days I have shakily been facing those challenges with zero confidence.  Again, how do people handle having more than one of these things?

Like many other times, when I don't know what's going on, I scour the internet looking for anything that resembles an answer or an explanation at,  Someone might be having or have had a similar experience and can relate or give a bit of guidance.  In past searches I have found some relate-able answers that I found helpful.  Oh, but this time, this time I'm met with a steaming pile of vague smarmy bullshit.  I type in a specific scenario into google, see something that sound similar and click.  There, I see some desperate mother, like myself, with a strange question wondering if this is "normal" or if she should be doing something different.  She's posted this question on a forum where other moms (non professionals) can respond and perhaps offer some sympathy, empathy, understanding or guidance.  What she's met with? Smarmy, judgmental, assholes.  What the hell!?

Then it hits me.  I've seen this type of thing everywhere lately.  Someone poses a question and quickly that question or comment is spun into a web of intentional misunderstanding and misinterpretation.  Why do we give ourselves permission to do this to each other?  We clearly aren't listening to each other, all we hear is our own righteous indignation we feel towards a relative stranger for no real reason in particular; as if they set out to offend us in particular.  Somehow the cyber bullying has a breached adulthood and found a new way to make others feel like shit.  I'm not just talking about the "Mommy" blogs, I'm talking all over Facebook, twitter, Tumblr, etc.  Twitter gives the everyday citizen an open forum to attack someone famous virtually to their face, as if they know them.  I don't particularly care for certain "celebrities" but I don't know them!! I know nothing at all about them, I have never actually met them so I am aware that the media can paint anyone into any light they want.

Here is where I will repeat that old adage: "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all".  While I am aware that there are a wide array of circumstances where this phrase does not apply, I'm specifically speaking about those times where one attacks another, because they simply didn't think or process another's meaning before jumping to conclusions.  Those memes that oversimplify and attack people and situations is bullying!! That's right folks, if you post an unfair comparison of what a "Hero" is, you are a bully.  If you post a meme that overly simplifies the complex ideals of a religious group or political group, you are bullying.

Stop the bullying!! There is enough ugly shit in this world for it to be fed by our unfair assumptions and judgement of each other.  Remember that river of slime in Ghostbuster's that kept getting bigger because people were assholes?  That's what it feels like is happening now.   It really doesn't hurt us to be a little nicer.   Just sayin'...

I would say Rant Over, but it's my blog and I'll rant if I want too!!        

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