Thursday, November 10, 2016

I'm tired on top of tired...

 My entire life I have been a strong personality.  I’ve expressed my opinions and judgements without prompting, and I’m not always proud of how I’ve expressed myself because sometimes, it means I wasn’t listening.  As I’ve grown older, I’ve learned when to be patient and wait my turn, how to actually listen to others words and feelings and what they are expressing, how to hold empathy to understand their position and to do my best not to pass judgement.  My circumstances are different from others and I think it’s always important to find compassion. 
  When my baby was born, I have to admit, I was over the moon that it was a girl.  Of course I would have been happy if it was a boy too, but I really wanted a girl.  The reason is because women are complex.  Our complexities make us magical, unique and powerful.  I wanted the opportunity to bring to the world an amazing contribution (stay tuned…she’s only 1).
Here’s what makes me tired on top of tired.  I’m not one to just sit by and say nothing, when I see something wrong.  I’m tired of being told not to get my feelings hurt or not to be offended.  This is something said to me pretty much only by men.  Dude, my “feelings aren’t hurt” and I’m not “offended”, I’m fucking outraged!! That’s right!  It’s something so simple to you.  You think you should tell me how to think and feel, but you would never do that to another man.  If I say something, I’m just another “liberal feminist”, which is term you fling at me like its monkey shit.  As soon as I attempt to point out the failure in your argument, especially with regards to women, I get the “Oh no, here we go…”.  This condescension, that means as soon as I attempt to express my opinion (which I take great pains to make educated) you have already tuned me out.  Or perhaps you’ll listen like a parent to a child and roll your eyes. 
 You tell me I’m easily offended and to not take it all so seriously.  I’m not easily offended, I’m just not offended by the things you think I should be offended by.  I’m not offended by strippers or prostitutes, or really the choice any woman makes with regards to her life.  I’m am, however, offended by exploitation, sex trafficking, and child pornography.  I’m offended by government officials attempting to tell me what I can and cannot do with my body and making statements about rape such as:

“Granted, the percentage of pregnancies due to rape is small because it’s an act of violence, because the body is traumatized. I don’t know what percentage of pregnancies are due to the violence of rape. Because of the trauma the body goes through, I don’t know what percentage of pregnancy results from the act.”


“We do need to plan ahead, don’t we, in life? I have spare tire on my car. I also have life insurance. I have a lot of things that I plan ahead for.”

That’s right, I need to start planning ahead just in case someone decides to rape me!  I’m going to need to teach my daughter the same.  You know because it’s just a part of life!! Like getting a flat tire!

I do and I am going to take it seriously, because if I don’t, if I don’t say something how will anyone understand?  How will we make things change?  Should I be silent because you don’t want to take it seriously?  I have a feeling that is the real issue here.  Perhaps it makes you uncomfortable to have to consider how complex these issues really are.  Maybe you like your issues over simplified and without compassion because it’s easier that way.    
  I heard over and over again the argument that I shouldn’t support or like Hillary Clinton as a woman because she chose to stay with her cheating husband.  Well, thank you so much for man-splaining to me what women should stand up for.  Here’s the thing.  Not judging other women for their choices in their personal lives is rule No. 1 in the feminist hand book.  It’s none of my business what she does in her relationship with her husband.  How do I know they didn’t work it out, maybe they love each other so much and support each other that it really didn’t matter, but the real point is, who the fuck cares?!?! It’s none of my damn business.  My favorite part of the argument was the staying with her cheating husband because she wanted to further her career.  Okay, first of all that assumption is so misogynistic I begin to feel violent tendencies.  Second of all, if it’s true.  Do you really think women are treated equal in politics or… anywhere?  You really think a woman who left her husband after he cheated would have been able to keep her career?  Something she spent her entire adult life working towards?  Fought tooth and nail for, because, as a woman, she had to work twice as hard to get half as far? Hell no!! Seriously? Here’s your double standard.  We shouldn’t vote for a woman who stayed with her husband after he cheated but numerous men have been voted for and held office after cheating on their wives, even when one was sick with a terminal illness.  These are often mentioned in the news, very briefly but not really used as fodder against voting for them.  Hell, I didn’t really hear women being told they shouldn’t vote for Donald Trump because he had cheated on previous wives.  Why not, I mean, that should be more offensive to me as a woman, shouldn’t it?  As far as I’m concerned Trumps cheating was the least of his offenses towards women. 
Sure, I’m not really a fan of cheating, but when it comes down to it, it’s not really all that important.  Both women and men are basically hardwired to spread their genetic material, it’s the biological imperative.  Yes, I think cheating is wrong because it lends itself to hurting someone else and lying but I’m hardly going to find it “offensive”. 
You want me to be offended by a woman who chooses to stay with her husband after indiscretions, but not offended by a man who would rate me on my looks and body on a scale of 1-10.  You want me to be offended by a woman who remains in her relationship but not be offended or bothered by a man who brags about sexual assault and then acts like it was just “locker room talk”.  I should take a woman staying in her marriage seriously, but ignore a man who has been accused a rape.  Of course, that’s far less offensive, I mean, why would anyone take that seriously?  She’s probably lying anyway, right?
  I’m so lucky to have you to tell me what a woman should be “offended” by!!
I really love being told that my support for a woman president was because she was a woman!  Really?  So, of course her gender was clearly the most important thing to me, I wonder where she bought her pants suit and who does her hair!!  Of course, I’m a woman, I don’t research the issues and look into the candidates and research in depth the bullshit claims.  Did I assume you voted for Trump because you’re a racist, bigoted, xenophobe?  No, because that gross generalization would be insulting! I am curious as to how you can ignore and not take “seriously” those sentiments he regularly expressed during his campaign and even before, but perhaps you thought other issues were more important.   

Oh, and I’m sorry if I “offended” anyone, you must be over sensitive easily offended…

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